The Life Edit + Recovering from Perfection with Carissa Woo
“Good is better than perfect.”
How did you feel when you read that sentence? If you had a petty tyrant raise up in your gut screaming, "LIAR!" then this episode is for you.
We are joined by wedding photographer turned business coach, Carissa Woo, who shares her personal journey of feeling overwhelmed and exhausted from constantly trying to please others. She realized her lack of self-love and made changes in her life to prioritize her own needs and practice self-care. Carissa's story explores the relief and contentment that comes with relinquishing constant stimulation and the pressure to always be busy.
Key Topics:
How to know when enough is enough - with your money and personal time
Tips to generate passive income and invest to increase financial (and mental) security
How to find your self-worth How to proactively plan for rest
Marketing strategies that give you more financial and time freedom
Moments You Don't Want to Miss:
00:02:11 Jessica Beautiful Unicorn Rabbit: a journey of self-discovery
00:09:58 Lover turned entrepreneur finds self-love journey.
00:13:15 Chinese upbringing instilled fear of inadequacy.
00:16:53 Overwork and lack of self-care affected me.
00:20:13 Wedding photography coach automates business for success.
00:24:39 Lessons: enough money, planning rest, CEO mindset
00:27:45 Finding your desired path, making big changes.
00:30:36 Entrepreneurs seek freedom, but struggle with transition.
Connect with Aleya
https://www.linkedin.com/in/aleyaharris/
https://www.instagram.com/aleyaharris/
About Carissa Woo
Carissa Woo, a lover and hopeless romantic, has been in the wedding industry for 13 years. Known for her tendency to cry at every wedding and her obsession with romantic comedies, Carissa embarked on a personal journey to find self-love and compassion for herself. Overwhelmed by feelings of worthlessness and constantly striving for more, Carissa suffered from postpartum depression after her first and second child. She believed that booking numerous weddings and photo shoots would validate her worth, but instead, she found herself overwhelmed and trapped in a chaotic life. Through therapy and the guidance of a friend's podcast, Carissa discovered the importance of self-love. This newfound mindset empowered her to shift her focus from building an empire to creating peace and balance in her life. Carissa now understands the value of taking breaks and no longer measures her worth solely by her work ethic.
Connect with Carissa
Links Mentioned on this Podcast
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FEP EP 71 - Audio
Fri, 6/3 1:40PM • 33:11
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
carissa, flourish, business, realize, podcast, worthiness, worthy, feel, love, helped, brand, wedding photographer, aleya, coach, freedom, life, carissa, fear, coaching, question
SPEAKERS
Aleya Harris
00:00
Do you have to do all the things and be with all the people all the time to feel like you are worthy to feel like you are holding your head above water to feel like you are valued and valuable as a human being? Well, I know I've been there. I felt like I'm there every other Tuesday.
00:22
But in this episode, we talked to Carissa Woo, about perfectionism as she is recovering from perfectionism, editing her life and taking control of her worthiness to lead a life that is full of more freedom and possibility. If you would like to just take that x L. Then this, my friend is the episode for you. All right, let's go.
00:53
Welcome to the flourishing entrepreneur podcast with Aleya Harris. This is the place where you and your fellow empire building entrepreneurs come to vanquish the burnout monster and boost your glow and cashflow with energy alignment techniques and tried and true marketing strategies. Since seven figures won't get itself hit that subscribe button and never miss out on your chance to skyrocket profit. Tap into your intuition and manifest your dreams. And now your host powerhouse story brand certified guide award winning marketer BioEnergetic business coach and Japanese Whisky lover Aleya Harris.
01:37
I'd like to introduce you to one of my frenemies. Her name is Jessica unicorn, beautiful rabbit. So there's a story here you can tell that there's a story here. When I was little, I want to frame Roger Rabbit. I just loved Jessica Rabbit. I just loved her character. I thought she was elegant and sassy and she sparkled I was little so the sparkles gotten me a lot. And I thought it was cool. So I told my parents that from that point on my name was going to be Jessica Rabbit. But I wanted to add a little bit to it because I really felt like the unicorn and the beautiful would really just take it over. I don't know. Oh, Jessica, beautiful unicorn Rabbit was born. Now. They never really caught me that they would every once in a while but like they were like no growing it was a layup. But I idolized this image of literally cartoon perfection, which was in my mind at the time. And I didn't realize how much Jessica beautiful unicorn rabbit had seeped into my psyche until I was older. And I was in a seminar called Insight seminars. Which, by the way, if you ever want some drastic and dramatic life change, I recommend you hang out at an insight seminar. I've done three of them with my husband, and they have been really transformative. But I digress. I'm in this seminar. And we're talking about our limiting character. And it's been days of of really in depth, spiritual, emotional work. And who else pops in my head? Besides Jessica, beautiful unicorn rabbit, she looks a little different than on Who Framed Roger Rabbit though. She had like a pink suit on still sparkly, and she was stressed. She had a laptop and one and wearing the ISI yields you could ever imagine with perfect makeup, and just seemed like she was barely holding it all together. And I'm like, Oh my God. That's me. That's what thinking I had to be perfect is getting me stressed out. Not being my authentic self, not stepping into who I truly was because I was so busy trying to be everyone else's perfect version of me. Why? Because I didn't think I was worthy of love. Any other way. We talk about this more with Carissa but I totally relate because my limiting character Jessica beautiful unicorn Rabbit was holding me back, not only holding me back from opportunities and from stepping out and from being more confident with who I was, but from holding me back from expressing my deepest, most profound sense of self love. For me that is realizing that you are worthy of love and by just being by just existing, just breathing in and out means you are worthy and I had to real eyes that for myself. That's why today's a mantra is, I am worthy of love because I am, I am worthy of love because I am. Say with me, I am worthy of love because I am, I am worthy of love because I am. I am I exist, I am a human being and not a human doing, as the cliche says, right? By just being opportunity, love, grace abounds within you and it a balance within me and I had to realize that I would never be the type of business owner that I am. Because I'm a pipe podcast host I am the type of Speaker I am. If I didn't have that realisation, I would be stuck in a job I hated doing things I hated for people hate it.
06:03
Now, I don't have to do that I get to realize that love is there for the taking, whether I feel worthy of it or not, whether I feel guilt or shame or fear, whether I feel like that day I wasn't my best self, it doesn't matter because I am which means I am worthy of love and you are which means you are also worthy of love. We're going to dive in now to talk with Carissa woo all about worthiness, what you need to cut out of your life and what you need to be aware of and what you need to move forward with so that you can anchor in your sense of worthiness. worthiness is a journey to finding yourself again, to re finding that value that you were born with that society and circumstance have removed from you. Carissa has been on that journey and she's able to articulate that for all of us with lots of tangible nuggets of wisdom and really vulnerable thing that I know I can relate to and I'm sure you will be able to to in addition to being just a great love journeyer Carissa Woo is also an award winning wedding photographer turned business coach for wedding photographers, she helps people get a heck yes, from their clients and from themselves in their business. Alright, without further ado, let's go in now and dive in to talking with Carissa.
07:38
This episode is brought to you by strategy by flourish marketing. Most entrepreneurs are too close to their business to clearly communicate how they add value and stand out from the competition. Sometimes they even struggle to say what they do and offer. If you're confused, then your potential clients are confused and confusion is a profit killer. That's why flourish marketing uses story brand as the foundation for our products and services. The story brand framework helps companies understand what their customers are looking for, and how to position themselves to get those customers to pay attention. If you'd like help creating clear brand messaging for your marketing collateral Head to www.flourishmarketing.co/strategy and schedule a call today. You have only confusion to lose and money to gain visit www.flourishmarketing.co/strategy To get started.
08:38
Hi, Carissa, thank you so much for joining our podcast today. It's an honor to have you on.
08:44
Thank you, Aleya! So excited.
08:47
I am excited as well. So before we dive in, why don't you tell everyone who you are and what problem you solve in the world?
08:56
Ooh, I'm Carissa Woo. I've been a wedding photographer in LA South Bay Area for 13 years. And now I'm a coach for wedding photographers. And the problem I help solve is helping you get leads and master the sales call baby.
09:14
That's always good. Everyone always needs more leads even the most successful people that have been in business for years and years and years. We all need more leads. So you are definitely doing everyone a great service. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for that. So Carissa, the first question that I have for you is about one of my favorite topics, which is love and for me, there's, you know many different types of love brotherly love. There is romantic love, there's compassionate love, but why don't you tell me what love means to you but love and the act of loving what do those mean to you?
09:57
Oh wow. I never got this question before. But first of all, I'm a lover. I'm a hopeless romantic. That's why I've been in the wedding industry for 13 years. And I cry every wedding, I watched every rom com, a bazillion times. But I guess for the context now, I'm 37. So I've been on this journey of finding self love, and compassion for myself. So what love means to me is truly loving myself. And I guess a little backstory is, I think my first kid I went through a lot of like, postpartum depression and second kid. And I feel like I always felt like less than always, like striving for more, and nothing was ever good enough. I try to book so many weddings, so many shoots so many, many sessions just to prove to myself that I was worthy. And at the end of the day, what I found out was I was very overwhelmed, and just creating this like, kind of circus of a life. And through therapy, and a lot of struggles and having to like, do a little home edit on my friends. I know, you went through a similar situation and listened to your podcast a lot. I found this discovery of like, self love, and you helped me on my podcasts have that changed, like my mindset of creating like an empire, we're gonna talk more about that create an empire, and I'm not creating like a job for myself. But I kind of created this job for myself, where I was just a worker bee, like, I felt like if I wasn't working, I was not worthy. And I have a totally different mindset now like, I can take breaks, and I can have peace in my life. And yeah, I guess that was a long answer.
11:55
Great answer. So where do you find worthiness now, since you you know tamed your schedule, a little bit edited your friends, which I think a lot of us need to do? Where does worthiness come from? Now?
12:10
That's a great question. And I think to answer it, I would have to say like creating space for yourself in business, like creating the margin, so you're not working on that all the time. So you actually have time for yourself to just reflect or, you know, I don't have to be taking my kid to a class or do taking a new online course, or signing up for something new or going to a concert, but just having that space to myself to be. I think that really helps me with kind of knowing who I am and feeling a sense of worthiness. Like I don't have to be giving all the time to be like Phil accepted like, I could just be me.
12:55
I love that Do you are you are worthy. Because you are? Yeah, that's, that's wonderful. And that's a wonderful Realisation to have a lot of people don't ever get there. So kudos to you for getting there. And being able to own your worthiness in your beingness that's awesome. Carissa, yeah, I
13:15
think when I was a kid, like, my parents aren't Fabi but they are Chinese. But it was kind of like, oh, be kind, you know, help others. Always be doing something. Lots of classes, you know, singing, dancing and acting, the whole nine. And I develop this kind of mantra, just like, if you're not serving, you're not really worthy. Or if you're like, even on vacations, I felt like I had to be like giving my photography or like bringing my Polaroid camera or like giving some value at parties. And I'm just like, I don't really have to do that. Like, I could just be chill. So yeah, I think it came a lot down to like, how I was raised, like, my dad would always be like, oh, like you didn't get first place and like your tennis team, like what happened or you know, stuff like that. So I think it just like, I was always just training my head like, Oh, you're not good enough. You're not good enough. So I think we'll talk more about that. But it kind of created this sense of like fear in my head of like, you're not going to make it you have to do all the things all the time.
14:29
Yeah, yeah. I mean, I experience a similar fear, I still experienced that fear. What am I talking about? We haven't transcended that yet. Still, there are some times. So I definitely understand, especially when things on the outside aren't going like what you expect them to tell you expect them to go or what you expect them to be. Then all of a sudden, you're like, well, I'll just do all of the things now. And that'll make it better if I just do all the things I can't go wrong, but Lord forbid I just sit and be and wait and be patient and wait for loving things to come to me and be more loved. That is actually the harder thing to do rather than just kicking it into service high gear, right? Yeah,
15:16
it was so hard even during COVID I'm like, Oh, let me make this ebook. And let me do this on like chorus and let me learn as much as possible. Like, you know, just that mentality. Like, I literally like writing emails, like, one second after I gave birth, it just, it just like my mentality, like, Oh, if you're not doing something you're not, you know, you're not going to be successful, you're gonna fail. So, yeah, it's just a bad mentality. And even when I talked to you last time, when we spoke, like, I was on this, like, exploration time, like, I need to, like figure out all these things like, why am I not getting leads and the coaching thing? And I come to realization like, finally and like after, you know, six months, just like, Okay, I have enough like, going on, like, I learned enough, I could just kind of chill out. And I don't know, I like my coach helped me a lot with like, the mentality. And I feel like I'm in a better place for sure.
16:12
I'm so glad because the other place is exhausting. I know. I've been there. So exhale, deep breath. So, How then did you did you do it? Carissa, because you were able to tap into your own loving and, and it's from that place that you were able to say, you are good enough, you are worthy, just as you are. But how did you tap in? I know you went to therapy, and I know you do things, but what? What were the conversations you had with yourself? What feelings did you have to access to really tap into that place inside of you?
16:53
It was a lot of things. But I think I just was so sick of feeling like shit, like, like, why, like, you're on this, like this hamster wheel. And, you know, I was so like, fragile, like, any, like, little thing could just set me off. And I was just like, you know, constantly giving the planning everyone's parties planning like, me, like really planning and like, buying everything, just, you know, just doing all the things for my clients. And, like, one little, like, negative comment from my husband or like, one, something someone didn't like, because it's really, like, really made me super emotional. Kind of like a ticking time bomb. And I think I had to reflect and I think it came from like, not loving myself. And I just kind of had to figure out like, kinda like, have to delete stuff from your life and really make time for yourself. So I feel like rested. Like maybe, you know, I don't have to go out that night and be stimulated, like, just chill and like, watch TV or take a bath. And then the next morning, you feel refreshed. Like I was always like, on like, constantly, like stimulated. And I felt like finally, like I learned to relax and be like, Hey, I have nothing on my calendar. Awesome. You know, like, I'm not trying to, like, do a brand shoot or like, you know, throw some barbecue just like okay, Chris, chill.
18:24
What was the number one thing that helped you except that that helped you relax.
18:31
I think that just realising it. To be honest with you, I started taking CBD pills or one pill in the morning. I had anxiety about just the things that were on my to do list. Even though I always I could execute them and everything's always going to get done. I have my workflows but just knowing that like, I can't mess up on anything. That gave me a lot of like pressure. But now I'm like, something that would take five minutes would give me like anxiety like Oh, I gotta write this proposal, blah, blah, blah, I need to get home now. Like, no you know, time block, you could go to Starbucks for three hours, hash out everything hash out your social media, check out stuff on your list, and then like, enjoy your time off. So I really had to like kind of give myself like moments to relax and was saying that that means not putting so much on your calendar, even if it's like a wedding and I want to shoot it like if there's too much on the list like just maybe not take on because I think my mental health is the most important for me now.
19:45
Absolutely. It should be for everyone. But we often don't really value it as we should we take our own mental health for granted a lot. Yeah, kind of sucks. Yeah. So now that you You are on this journey and you've figured some things out. How has it made you more successful? Can you give us maybe three ways that loving yourself being on this more loving journey with yourself and your business has made you more successful?
20:12
Yeah, so I'm, I'm like a coach or wedding photographer is. So it's hard because I built my business like, brick by brick for like, 13 years. So I did all the things. You know, I did the blogging, I did the networking, I did the Pinterest, the tailwind, the Instagram, the social, like the building the brand, like, you know, but as a coach, I can't be like, Hey, do everything I did, you know, it's gonna take five years. I wanted to kind of automate things. So I helped my photographers like create a powerful brand messaging, one piece of great content, meaning like the lead magnet, or like the email sequence, and then I'm applying it that to their business, but I'm also applying it for myself, for my coaching business. So like, my great freebies, the funnels, the copy, and like really making a stance on who I am as a coach. And then having my students do the same thing as a photographer, like, this is my approach. This is where I stand, maybe not everyone is doing the same thing. But this is where I stand, this is my approach, this is how I get there. And then kind of give me like the, you know, the whole free training, which is all automated. And that really was like really freeing to me, because I can teach all the things. I've been doing it for so long, I could teach you anything, but it's like, what's the one thing that's going to take people from like zero to 100. So I really had to figure that out. And then once I that did, and it was like this whole like, oh, like I felt like, I could relax, like I could go to Disneyland and just like, not think about what I'm going to post on Instagram, you know, just one piece of great content like running. And you know, I do, I wasn't into the ads. I never did the Facebook ads or Instagram ads. But now I'm like all about it. Because it's like, it's doing the work for me, which is awesome.
22:14
I know, it's always lovely when you can automate things. And that sometimes is one of the more loving things you can do for yourself is being able to give yourself that room and that margin. So that's really great that you mentioned, what could be on autopilot? What do you really need to focus on? How can you hold things in? And then when you did, you felt like you had room to breathe and breathing room. And freedom is why we all become entrepreneurs in the first place. It just never happens quite as quickly as we think that it will.
22:45
Yeah. And I'm glad like to get here and I want to, you know, help wedding photographers feel the same way. So they're not just like, Oh, what do I post today? Or I'm not good enough or I'm not doing? You know, there's the new thing chasing that shiny object, which I'm sure everyone like in their mom was struggle with. But just being like, okay, like I have a system and it works. And yeah, now I could be free.
23:10
Yep, exactly. So you've been on a great journey, you've unearthed a lot of truths about yourself, how have those truths? If? Or how would those truths do you think have helped you earlier on in your business? If you could have incorporated more love more loving and more effectively? What do you think would have been different in your approach to business ownership?
23:38
I think it would have been easier for sure if I didn't have such like a fear based mentality. really planning on like your goals, like, you know, what do you want to make a year and how many weddings do you need per year and kind of like seeing your calendar and your whole workflow and like, you know, scheduling time for vacations and not taking on every little thing like I used to, you know, have people sign up for these like mini marathons just because everyone else was doing it like, oh, spring, summer winter, and I'm like, I literally just came back from like, this crazy wedding season. And now I have to go straight into holiday photos. It's like, you know, maybe just know like yourself and like, Hey, you maybe you need to take a break. Like look at your calendar, see where you want to rest and spend time for yourself and not be so like I have to book book book.
24:39
I think there's a lot of great lessons there. One is knowing when enough is enough? Yeah, right. How much money do you really need? How much money do you need to make and how much of your own personal time do you need to do that? And if you still want to make more money after you are done with the personal time that you can invest, then how can you get more passive income or how could you You make investments to be able to get that additional money. Yeah. I also love that you talked about proactively planning your rest. Because if you're once you're burned down, and once you're exhausted, the last thing that you're trying to do or have a headspace to be able to do is to plan a vacation. Yeah, so I plan like I have quarterly sabbaticals that I plan once a quarter, and they're planned. They were planned out in January for the entire year. Because I know that I will work work, work, work, work. And then it's just when I'm like, gosh, I could use a break. And then I look at my calendar, I'm like, Oh, my gosh, I'm on sabbatical. And knowing that, that's okay. And actually on my sabbatical, I do rest and hang out and all that stuff. That's also when I get back to being able to dream and plan and be that CEO and get in a different headspace. It's not in the day to day take a step back and like what's working, what's giving me stress what's not working, so then I can make a shift and make a change. So I wholeheartedly agree with what you're saying. Yay. I love it. So Carissa, we have now gotten to one of my favorite parts of the episode, which is the journal prompt question. For everyone listening out there. The journal prompt question is the question that Carissa has lovingly volunteered to answer for you. And you can then take and write about in your own journal. So Carissa, are you ready for your journal prompts? Your journal prompts question is how would you live if you weren't motivated by fear? Or said a little differently? How would you live if you had ditched the fear already? Something like that.
26:56
I wouldn't be such a workaholic. I do play a lot I do. Go out with my friends go to restaurants and stuff. But you know, work has always been like party even over my kids, which is so sad to say.
27:15
But I sadly but good awareness to have.
27:17
Yeah. So I think if I operated through love, like, I think I could kind of flow through life like water, and not be so like, rigid. I know, I come off like in my photography brand, like I'm colorful, I'm happy and pray, whatever. But at the end of the day, I'm very like, business business business. And I think if I just was motivated more by love and not fear, I just be more like a little bit softer hearted for sure.
27:46
Well, it sounds like you're on a great journey to doing that you have things in place, and you're paying attention, which, for me, I find is the hardest thing. Our lives get away from us. And then all of a sudden we wake up one morning, we're like, what just happened? How did I get here? What decisions have led me to this point? And if they were fear based decisions, you're probably not somewhere you want to be? Yeah. So you are realizing Hey, I wanted to be somewhere else. You've made big changes, big strides. I think that that is amazing. So Carissa, if people want to learn how to take a loving approach to their wedding photography business and be coached by you, where can they find you online?
28:30
So my website for my coaching programme is HEC Yes media.co And you can find my freebies it's like a free guide on how to create like this lead generating machine, which is super cool. And of course you get into my email funnels, more cool stuff like how to get them a vendor list and all my cool guides and stuff. But my Instagram for the coaching business is at Carissa with W. O. And I do all the reels and have a podcast called Get the heck yes with Chris who's so I'm on everywhere.
29:09
Wonderful, and I've been on the podcast. It's a great podcast. If you haven't listened you should go and make sure that you listen and check out Chris's podcast look Reza, thank you so much for joining us here today on the flourishing entrepreneur podcast. I appreciate your vulnerability, your honesty and your great advice. Thank you. Bye for now.
29:32
This episode is brought to you by BioEnergetic business coaching by flourish marketing. Do you wake up feeling tired? You can't build your empire if you're cranky and exhausted. If you're fed up with fighting a losing battle against the burnout monster, it's time to fix the root causes of your issues and get aligned turn up the wattage and your glow and cashflow with effective business strategies. BioEnergetic business coaching is for growth getting entre foreigners who know they need to make a change to see better results and reach their goals. If you want to unblock your energy and unleash abundance, head to www.flourishmarketing.co/coaching To become a client, now's your chance to step into the role of CEO chief energy officer and flourish in business and life. Go to www.flourishmarketing.co/coaching To get started
30:36
Carissa settle line that I hope that you caught because I think a lot of entrepreneurs feel this way. She said, If I wasn't working, I wasn't worthy. Hmm. That got me right in the gut. Because I've been there. We all get into entrepreneurship because we're trying to chase some type of freedom, time freedom, financial freedom, emotional freedom, mental freedom. And usually it takes a little bit of grind before we're able to get said freedom. But that transition between grind and freedom is very difficult for a lot of us to master. when is enough enough? How many hours do you need to truly spend on your business? How much money do you really need to make to be happy? Instead of getting to the place where you are just so sick and tired of being sick and tired? That you just ditch it all? Ask yourself those questions about what can you do to smooth the transition into the freedom that you envision from your for yourself from the very beginning? Well, I know that I'm going to be journaling about that later. And I hope that you will join me in your own time of reflection. This has been a wonderful episode of the flourishing entrepreneur podcast. Thank you very much for joining me. My name is Aleya hare as we drop new episodes here every single week, and I look forward to seeing you right back here next week. Have a wonderful, wonderful day full of lots of blessings and joy. I'm sending you love, freedom and abundance with lots of light to wrap it all up in and I will talk to you soon. Bye for now.
32:40
Thank you for listening to this episode of the flourishing entrepreneur podcast with Aleya Harris. Dive into the shownotes at www.flourishmarketing.co/podcast and connect with Aleya at Flourishing Entrepreneur on Instagram vibing with what you hear, leave a five star review to spread the love and be sure to click Subscribe from the entire flourish marketing team. We wish you love, light and abundance. See you next time
