It's Okay Not to Be Okay
with Stephanie Kaiser
Do you ever feel like you're not really okay, despite what you portray to the world? Dive into this candid conversation with Stephanie Kaiser, founder of saymore—a virtual community that champions mental wellness. In this episode of The Flourishing Entrepreneur, we peel back the layers of social facades to discuss the real, raw, and often unspoken aspects of mental health. Stephanie shares her journey from a high-pressure finance career to creating a space where people can honestly say they are not okay—and that's perfectly fine.
Key Takeaways:
The Reality Behind 'I'm Fine': Discover the truth that lies behind the common response, "I'm fine," and why it's crucial to address our genuine feelings.
Creating Safe Spaces: Learn about the inception of saymore and how it provides a supportive environment for open discussions about mental health, offering a refuge from the often isolating struggles many face.
Empowering Connections: Explore how connecting with others who share similar experiences can lead to healing and understanding, breaking down the barriers of isolation and stigma associated with mental health.
Why Listen: If you've ever felt alone in your struggles or misunderstood by those around you, this episode will resonate deeply. It’s a reminder that it’s okay not to be okay and that finding or creating communities that recognize and embrace real emotions is essential for mental wellness. Join us as we discuss how to navigate and support mental health in an often indifferent world.
Tune in to this profound discussion that challenges the stigma of mental health and encourages a more compassionate and understanding approach to our interactions.
About Stephanie Kaiser
Stephanie Kaiser is the founder of saymore, a virtual community focused on mental wellness. A passionate advocate for women’s mental health, Stephanie began her career in finance, working for banking corporations like PNC and JP Morgan Chase. Her experiences as a young female analyst in a male-dominated corporate culture motivated her to create safe spaces that supported women and effected positive discussion and change. She created saymore in 2023 to help others feel less alone, spark nuanced discussions, and find support to help people navigate their unique lived experiences.
Connect with Stephanie Kaiser
Website: https://saymoreco.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saymoreco/
About Aleya Harris
Aleya Harris is the spark for your spark™. A trailblazer in purpose-driven story crafting, she is a marketing executive and ex-Google Vendor Partner who brings her dynamic experience to her role as the CEO of The Evolution Collective Inc. Aleya is an international award-winning speaker, the founder and lead trainer of Spark the Stage ™, and the host of the award-winning Flourishing Entrepreneur Podcast. She is also the author of the bestselling book Spark the Stage: Master the Art of Professional Speaking and Authentic Storytelling to Captivate, Inspire, and Transform Your Audience. Her unique approach as a Strategic Storytelling Consultant has revolutionized the way businesses communicate, transforming workplace cultures and market positioning. With her dynamic energy and proven methodologies, Aleya guides clients to unlock their potential, articulate their radically authentic stories, and achieve unparalleled success.
Watch the Free Masterclass
Join Aleya's free masterclass "Build Unstoppable Confidence and Book Speaking Gigs Without Feeling Like an Impostor." Discover the proven framework to own your story, captivate audiences, and land speaking gigs—even if you’ve doubted your worth or have no experience on stage.
Register at https://www.aleyaharris.com/masterclass
Buy the Book
Aleya's bestselling book will help you become a more confident and authentic professional public speaker. Buy Spark the Stage: Master the Art of Professional Speaking and Authentic Storytelling to Captivate, Inspire & Transform Your Audience on Amazon or anywhere books are sold.
Buy the Book: https://a.co/d/1T4EoJ7
Sign Up for Spark the Stage™
Spark the Stage™ is an online course and 12-month group coaching program that helps entrepreneurs and executives become radically authentic professional public speakers who can confidently deliver a compelling Radical Spark Signature Talk™ from the stage.
Enroll at https://www.aleyaharris.com/spark
Work with Aleya to Craft a Better Story
If you can't communicate who you are, your company will make less money. An unclear strategy, confusing brand, or undefined workplace culture will repel ideal clients, visibility opportunities, and career-making connections. Work with Aleya Harris, a strategic storytelling consultant and seasoned marketer, to develop an authentic story that differentiates you from the competition and builds stronger relationships with your target audience.
Schedule a call at https://www.evolutioncollective.com/
Book Aleya to Speak
To book Aleya to edutain your audience at your next event as a keynote speaker, please visit www.aleyaharris.com/speaking to check out her speaking topics, reels, and why. Click "Schedule a Call" to secure the speaker with "that something new" you've been looking for.
Connect with Aleya Harris
Speaking & Media: https://www.aleyaharris.com
The Evolution Collective Inc.: https://www.evolutioncollective.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aleyaharris/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aleyaharris/
Links Mentioned on this Podcast
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[00:01] Aleya Harris: Are you okay?
[00:04] No, really. Are you really okay?
[00:08] I'm not asking if your Instagram profile is okay or if that quick hot tip that you just put on LinkedIn shows that you're okay. Or my favorite, is your next announcement you're thrilled to announce, if that's okay.
[00:25] I'm asking of you, the inside of you. Are you okay?
[00:31] Many times when someone's asked me that, I've been like, yeah, sure, great.
[00:34] And that was a lie. It was a lie because I was too scared or vulnerable. Or most likely it's because I didn't think that they would understand. Or even worse, that they would judge me for not being okay.
[00:47] Well, in today's episode, I invite you to be okay or not okay and to have a wonderful conversation about all of the above with me and Stephanie Kaiser. Stephanie Kaiser is the founder of say More, a virtual community focused on mental wellness.
[01:04] She's a passionate advocate for women's mental health and she began her career in finance. Bernie on in finance. Having a mental health crisis in finance for banking companies like DNC and JP Morgan Chase.
[01:17] Her experiences as a young female analyst in a male dominated corporate culture motivated her to create safe spaces that supported women and affected positive discussion and change. She created say more in 2023 to help others like you feel less alone, spark nuanced discussions and find support to help people navigate their unique lived experiences.
[01:41] Basically, say More is the one that will make it so you can be okay without being okay with other people who are okay with it not being okay. So if you would like a space to just breathe, to understand, to laugh quite a bit, actually, in this conversation about mental health and mental health awareness, I invite you to keep listening because this episode is just for you.
[02:07] All right, let's go.
[02:12] Yuliya Patsay: Welcome to the Flourishing Entrepreneur podcast with Aleyah Harris.
[02:18] If you're looking for actionable ways to overcome communication and differentiation challenges by sharing radically authentic stories, you are in the right place.
[02:29] Listen in and learn how to stand in the power of your unique narrative to transform your personal life, business and workplace culture. And now, your host, award winning international speaker, strategic storytelling consultant and Japanese whiskey lover, Ruby Coral's mom, Aleyah Harris.
[03:01] Aleya Harris: Hey, Stephanie. Welcome to the Flourishing Entrepreneur podcast. How you doing today?
[03:06] Stephanie Kaiser: I'm great. Thanks for having me.
[03:08] Aleya Harris: I am thrilled to have you. It's going to be a great conversation. But before we get into our hard hitting topics, can you please let everyone know who you are and what you do?
[03:20] Stephanie Kaiser: Yeah. So I'm the CEO and founder of say More, which is a virtual mental Wellness community for people to find shared challenges, curiosities and goals and connect online and hopefully make the Internet a more fun and safe place for people to be.
[03:36] Aleya Harris: So who's the type of person that should sign up for say More?
[03:40] Stephanie Kaiser: Yeah, so I always say, say more is for everyone, but in the big wide world of the Internet, what I really want to bring people together around is women's health. And so I, we as a community have specific health challenges that I've been hearing a lot just from the work that I've been doing.
[03:55] And specifically, you know, we encounter very different circumstances and, you know, from like pregnancy to, you know, just mental health challenges in the workplace. So I really want to see women coming together online and talking about these challenges and finding real resources that work for them.
[04:12] Predominantly, the healthcare space has been mostly for men, so that's just statistics. And I'm looking forward to hopefully changing that a little bit through say More.
[04:22] Aleya Harris: Got it, got it. Love it.
[04:25] I want to talk a little bit more about how you came to create say More because that's not just something random. You're like, I want to take up knitting today.
[04:34] It seems like there's a little bit of a story behind there. So can you talk about the pivotal moment that led to you founding this?
[04:42] Stephanie Kaiser: Yeah. So I always thought I was just going to work as a corporate woman for the rest of my life and middle management and be happy with that life. And quickly found out when the pandemic hit and just going through my own mental health challenges with depression that this was not going to be my story of just keeping quiet and working in the finance world as a young woman and just going through those challenges.
[05:05] Specifically. I wanted to be a part of so many other things, something so much bigger than myself, and I found a lot of my friends and family were experiencing similar things.
[05:13] And it kind of all came to a head when the pandemic hit and, you know, we're all locked away.
[05:18] I was really struggling with my depression and I wasn't had never told anyone in my life about it really. I was very good at hiding it and very high functioning.
[05:26] And it just got to a point where I said, I can't do this anymore from a work standpoint and just even hiding it from my friends and family. And as much as I have a great support system and I've always felt safe around them, I also felt when I was telling them my story, they didn't understand and that's okay.
[05:42] And not everyone's going to understand. But that left me feeling a Little more isolated than I would have liked, and they worried about me. And of course, when someone you think is perfectly okay their whole life and they start telling you about their mental health issues, it sounds worrying.
[05:55] But I really desire to talk to people who knew exactly what this felt like or it didn't look exactly like. Depression sounds like where you can't get out of bed.
[06:03] It felt heavier. It felt different. And I took to the Internet like most young people do, and I wanted to find a place beyond social media and beyond Reddit, to be honest, where I could just have real conversations with people who were like, oh, my God, I'm depressed too.
[06:19] And my life doesn't look like it either, you know, and it doesn't sound the same, but sometimes the world feels so heavy, and I've just felt that so hard that everything was on my shoulders.
[06:29] And I wanted to share that with people and have them nod and say, me too. And that's kind of the inception of same Moore. I always tell people that I would have loved for same war to already exist, so I didn't have to build it because that was just the space where I was at.
[06:43] And, you know, as soon as I started talking more and realizing, like, where do people go for this stuff? Beyond, you know, again, like, influencers who talk widely about it, I wanted to find normal people like myself who we could just sit in a room or online in a room and just say, like, yep, this is how I feel.
[06:58] This is how you feel, too. It's okay. So I just wanted the permission and the understanding, and I said, fine, I guess I'll build that community online. I just believe in the positive side of the Internet so much.
[07:07] I've seen it in my life, and I wanted to keep building that space from. From my heart. And that's how same work kind of came to be.
[07:16] Aleya Harris: That's a wonderful story. And you said you wanted people that were, like, nodding. I'm sitting here nodding like, yes, yes, yes. I've had my own postpartum depression story and my postpartum depression journey and my daughter's almost 2, and it still will pop up every once in a while they say that you're.
[07:34] I don't even know if this is true. I haven't gotten there yet. So I'll report back when I do that. When it takes about seven years for you to feel like yourself, it definitely is not two years because I still don't feel quite like myself.
[07:49] And I don't think I'm ever going to feel like the woman I was before, but we'll see. I'll report back after seven years what it is.
[08:01] But it's also some of those things that people just don't. We don't talk about. It doesn't look like what it's supposed to.
[08:08] And I look at women that have, like, they're like, oh, I have two under two or two under three. And it's just like, oh, my God, how do you mentally do that?
[08:18] And everyone is different. But there was no way in hell for me.
[08:22] So glad you created a community for this.
[08:25] Stephanie Kaiser: Well, and I'm just. I know this is about me, but I am curious, like, how, like, who did you talk to when you first started feeling those things? Like, did you feel like you could have those conversations as well?
[08:35] Aleya Harris: I was really blessed where I had a doula that also did postpartum care. So. So my doula and I had lots of conversations around this. And then I had my baby at Kaiser Panorama City here in California.
[08:50] Shout out to them, because they have really good resources that you can get super easily, like, without any red tape or anything. And they. Right after the baby comes, they have.
[09:03] They talk to you about signs of postpartum depression, what it looks like. They give you all the paperwork. They check up on you. They make sure that you're so, like, I joined a postpartum depression group of other moms.
[09:16] It was virtually. I got a therapist, and it was easy peasy to do through them. So I was really grateful for that. But it's also hearing what other body everybody else's experiences are and that you're right, it doesn't look like it does on the tv.
[09:33] Stephanie Kaiser: Right.
[09:33] Aleya Harris: It doesn't. I mean, people think of depressing. Like, do you remember that it had to have been a depression ad? The little blob.
[09:42] Stephanie Kaiser: Yes.
[09:43] Aleya Harris: Commercial.
[09:44] Stephanie Kaiser: Yes.
[09:45] Aleya Harris: Right. And I'm like, well, I mean, yeah, I have felt like that, but that's not always how it feels. But I think that the commercial was really successful, so I think it colored a lot of people's view.
[09:57] Stephanie Kaiser: Right.
[09:58] Well. And someone like yourself, you're so infectious with your smile and your laughter and how you speak to people. It just. I've heard a little bit about your postpartum story just from listening to your podcast, but I'm just shocked that I would say to you, oh, my gosh, I can imagine her being depressed.
[10:13] What would that even look like on her? She's so bubbly and warm. And so I just. Again, I think you have no idea what people are going through. And I know that's cliche, but it really is true.
[10:24] Aleya Harris: It is very true. I tell a story about how I was about to do a keynote on stage and I was bawling my eyes out in my room. I had.
[10:34] Not super recent after my daughter, but she made this like four or five months, so. Recent enough.
[10:39] Stephanie Kaiser: Yeah.
[10:39] Aleya Harris: And then I got up on. I put my pretty dress up, put my makeup on, put my lipstick on, got up on stage delivering my keynote, and. And everyone, when I got off, was like, oh, my God, I just love your energy.
[10:49] I just love your energy. And that was the moment when I also. It was a key point in my own depression journey when I realized that there was the energy that other people were feeling was the energy from spirit, source, universe, God, whatever words you'd like to say, and that it was flowing through me to them, which meant that it was still flowing through me, even if I didn't feel like it.
[11:09] And it gave me that hope that there was something else happening besides the sadness. There was my internal rescuer there, and that it would eventually be okay because I wasn't completely going on my own in this world.
[11:25] Stephanie Kaiser: I love the way you said that. That was really. That's insightful for me as well. The energy that comes through beyond the depression is so important because you're not just one thing.
[11:33] I don't know. That's also something I struggle that you're.
[11:36] Aleya Harris: You're not. You're not just one thing. And then if you, you know, my husband also gets the bubbly or whatever, because this is just how I am. I'm not, like, putting on.
[11:45] I feel like I. If I had to, like, put on to have this level of energy, I'd be exhausted. Like, if I was, like, secretly, like an introvert. Right.
[11:56] But, like, you know, he sees me all the time, so he sees the ebbs and the flows. And it's not always like this, but like you say, when people only have interactions with you on social or in a speaking engagement, it's hard to believe.
[12:13] So I'm glad that you built a community where people can be their unbelievable selves openly and have conversations about it.
[12:21] Stephanie Kaiser: Exactly.
[12:23] Aleya Harris: So in this community, there's lots of stories that I'm sure come out and lots of good conversations. If you had to kind of think about the conversations that you've had either with others in your community or with yourself around the stories that we tell ourselves, how would you say that they've impacted your trajectory and those of the people around you?
[12:49] Stephanie Kaiser: Yes. So, I mean, we live in our heads. I Just, that's the place we are almost 100% of the time. And so, you know, even just as a entrepreneur and especially as a woman, we can be our hardest critics.
[13:02] I think it's really easy to get stuck in the what's the point? Even when I'm like, depressed, I'm not even an entrepreneur yet. There's a lot of that language, at least for me.
[13:11] I found myself, I can recognize patterns myself when I start getting really depressed of just saying really negative self talk. And even within my own communities, when I hear my friends say that it's the age old of, oh, would you say that to me?
[13:24] Like, you would never talk about me that way or say that, what you're saying to yourself. And it's so wild that you have to go through that own journey within your head of self correcting and making sure that you are making it a good place to be.
[13:36] Because if I even starting this work that I've been doing, I got, I felt a lot of pushback from myself and even other mentors. And I was wondering, you know what?
[13:47] Like, am I the person who should be facilitating these conversations? Am I the right. Is this the right job for me? I was so good at my finance job. Like, why am I doing this work now?
[13:56] Like, am I going to cause more harm than good? I think there's a lot of conversations around that, especially in the mental health world. And what I always come back to is, we have, like, if you think there's a better way, then why not create it?
[14:08] And who am I to say, oh, I'm wrong and this isn't going to work out and everything's terrible when I haven't even given myself the shot. So to anyone else who listens to your podcast and even your work, I think you're a perfect example of this is just do it.
[14:20] You know, like, don't let yourself get in the way because you have no idea how many people are out there who need exactly what you're offering. Right? And even listening to you and your energy, it's so refreshing to see, like, positivity around female entrepreneurship and being like, we got this.
[14:35] Like, we're, this is our time now. You know, like, it's just been really an exciting time for women and across the board. And I just love to see us empowering each other and feeling confident because we belong in all those rooms, you know, so that's where I'm at.
[14:48] It's completely put me on this path sooner than I ever would have thought. I'm still pretty Young, and it's kind of scary, but I. I'm so glad I'm here. If I wasn't here, I would be absolutely miserable.
[14:59] So I'm just really happy I made that choice.
[15:03] Aleya Harris: In the beginning, you told the story of how you founded this community, but. And it flowed so easily. Very eloquent, very nicely done. However, I know it wasn't always like that.
[15:16] I know that it didn't always so easily flow out of you. And there was probably a time where it was difficult to share that story. So can you tell about how you grew okay with the vulnerability of sharing your depression out with the entire world and what that experience was like for you?
[15:33] Stephanie Kaiser: Yeah, I still forget it's out there. I'm. I know I'm a millennial, but I don't. I'm not like, oh, here's my whole, you know, inner thought monologue all the time to just the general public.
[15:44] But I will say, just working in finance, when I was leaving that job, my manager at the time was like, let's just put you on leave. We'll put you on, like, mental health leave.
[15:52] And that kind of got communicated. So that was my first exposure to just co workers understanding that something wasn't right with me. And I was so ashamed. I was embarrassed.
[16:00] I was ashamed. I felt weak. It's all the things that I think people can relate to when they first start telling people what's really going on inside their head. And even within my own family, I was so ashamed and felt weak.
[16:11] And they were like, you're going to be okay. We're going to get through this. And I knew that there was no doubt that I was. Something was super wrong with me.
[16:17] But I did just feel isolated and, like, I was becoming an outcast in my own world. And that was so scary because I was like, did I just ruin my whole life?
[16:26] Like, I'm, like, giving up my career temporarily to go on this mental health leave that people are going to be whispering about in my van, in my world, and also in my professional career.
[16:35] And am I. What am I gonna do? Am I just gonna sit at my house and figure this out? It just felt so raw. And I will say, so many people in my world also were like, congratulations.
[16:45] But it's so easy to sit from the sidelines and say, oh, good for you. Like, take the time. But when you're actually doing it, it's the scariest thing on the planet to try and change your life.
[16:55] And now that I've been in this world, a little bit more to Share. That part of my story has been the biggest connector to my mentors, to people on my board of directors, to people just strangers on the Internet who've reached out and said, I see you.
[17:09] I completely relate to this. It's. It's a surprise to me every time because I forget that that story is now a part of my mission and my work that I'm doing.
[17:18] But I'm so happy it is, because whenever I see that out in the world too, I. I'm like a bleeding heart. I'm like, oh, my God, me too. How could she ever feel.
[17:26] How could anyone ever feel that I was the wrong thing to do? But again, it's so much harder, like, to actually put into practice. So I will say vulnerability is the whole point of say more too.
[17:36] And just making sure people are connecting and finding their people and feeling like they're understood. I mean, to me, that's my core human experience, is I just want to connect with people and feel less alone.
[17:46] And I think that's missing a lot of the time in the world right now. And I'm just so grateful that if I could be that for someone else, I'm doing the right thing, you know, I don't need to go back to that finance world ever again.
[17:57] Aleya Harris: So I, I, and I will be one of those that says congratulations. I think that congratulations are in order, but I am saying it from a place of also understanding. And, and I, I remember the first time I was like, talking out in the world about it too.
[18:13] I was like, did I just.
[18:15] Let me just close Instagram just in case someone says something mean, because I have totally just put that out there. It is scary, but it was. I had the opposite effect, just like how you did, because the story, the vulnerable stories build the connection.
[18:26] The vulnerable stories break through the nose noise of that bro Bruh marketing and all of the other **** that's on the Internet.
[18:34] It's how people realize and remember our humanity, even in the age of advanced technology. And human beings need other humans, which is one of the reasons why I say more exists because human beings need other humans.
[18:52] Exactly, exactly. I think that it's also very interesting what you were talking about it feeling like you were sharing your story out with your co workers for the first time.
[19:09] You had all these emotions around it. And I just had a question, because this is me and my type A plus asking this question. Did you also feel like when you were on administrative believe that you had to make the most of it.
[19:21] You better, like, you better do the thing you Better make sure that you, you did all the therapy, you meditated, you did all things. And then it, like, was almost like your, your, you had your mental health break and then you were ruining it by focusing so much on all the things that you were supposed to do to fix your mental health.
[19:38] That's how I would approach it. I've never even been on a mental health break, but I already know. I know me, right? That's how I would approach it.
[19:45] Stephanie Kaiser: That's the exact same way. I'm like, okay, so every day we're going to be doing this. Like, I was so structured afterwards. It was like, what's next? This huge pause in my life of like, okay, now what are you gonna do?
[19:56] You did the big scary thing, but now what? And you kind of look around. I was like, okay, I'm gonna do therapy twice a week now. I'm gonna up it.
[20:02] I'm gonna go on my mental health walks. I'm gonna be making fresh food every day. And it just turned into this version of my mental health break that was really not helpful at all.
[20:12] And I got to a point where, because I did feel pressure from my job, so I'd be like, okay, so let us know when you're calling back. It wasn't necessarily like a true take your time and even talking therapist.
[20:24] I was like, I don't think I'm doing this right. Like, it feels worse now that I'm.
[20:28] Aleya Harris: Like, just, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's now I've turned my job into my mental health job, my mental health five point recuperation plan, like, literally.
[20:37] Stephanie Kaiser: And then my therapist was saying, there's such a thing as too much reflection. Because then I was going into.
[20:44] Aleya Harris: I like your therapist.
[20:46] Stephanie Kaiser: Literally, she's perfect for me on me. Because I was like, okay, so my childhood, like, I was going through every single thing. And she was like, I think you fix me.
[20:54] Aleya Harris: You heard the key points that commonly trip people up. Because I have things to do. So let's just breeze through these. Fix me so I can go back to work.
[21:02] Stephanie Kaiser: Yes. So I can button this up and call it like a cute little mental health break. And then I figured it all out and I'm back to normal. Like, absolutely not.
[21:10] That's the biggest.
[21:11] Aleya Harris: It was. What is it? What are the kids saying? It was. It was very demure, very cutesy, Very demure. I went, a very cutesy, very demure mental health break.
[21:19] Stephanie Kaiser: Yes. And I just, it's just so funny because I again, I was so insecure about that. And then I was and when the conversation came, I think it was three months you get, which was very nice, I will say that.
[21:31] And. But I still was so stressed the whole time, I'll give you that as well. And when I decided I for sure wasn't going back to work, a lot of people had reached out to me and, and were kind of.
[21:40] I don't know if they were frustrated, but I felt maybe that was me projecting. I felt they were frustrated with me of like, oh, you just went on this break and you're not even coming back.
[21:47] But I haven't told this to anyone. But then I saw a couple co workers do the exact same thing. Like a year later they went on a break, whatever that meant to them, and they didn't come back.
[21:57] And I was like, you know what? That's. If that, If I was the inspiration for that, even in like a shameful way, then fine, whatever. I'm just happy people are starting to take care of themselves in a different way because it doesn't sometimes, especially with the job I was at, there's no such thing as work life balance.
[22:13] It's. That's not what they're trying to do. They're like, we appreciate you, but we want you back. Like, you're here to work.
[22:18] Aleya Harris: So, yeah, I think that there's a lot of false, false care in the corporate space. Not everyone, because there are companies who I think do genuinely care or it just really attached to their values.
[22:34] Like, I don't drink Arizona Tea. It has a lot of sugar on it. But like, yeah, the Arizona Tea Company, like, they've set it up where like the founders only make their.
[22:44] They capped their own salary. They pay everyone to live in, like, but that's like very far and few in between because they're attached to their values. And then they're looked at this as like this hippie dippy company.
[22:57] I was like, no, they just are like realizing that they're humans that employ other human beings and it's not all automatons, you know?
[23:05] Stephanie Kaiser: Right. And I feel like I was just talking to a few other friends about this. You lose some of the best people who are really good at their jobs because they're really good at their jobs and they kind of get take.
[23:17] Pulled into all these other roles. And to me I'm like, that's the natural order. Like, if you're going to have these really great people and work them to death or have them do five different jobs for the price of one.
[23:26] It's just, to me it makes sense that people are Going to leave and try something new. And to me, you should expect that as an employer, I would be shocked if you were like, why aren't they loyal?
[23:34] It's like, well, we're not in that normal. Well, yeah, that's done.
[23:39] Aleya Harris: Have you. Have you looked in the mirror? Have you looked in the mirror? I can give you a hint.
[23:46] It's interesting, though, because it sounds like we have very similar thought processes, for better or for worse, when it comes to, you know, I'm going to go and do this mental health thing.
[23:56] I'm going to give it my all. I'm going to push really hard at being mentally healthy, which is the oxymoron of all oxymorons.
[24:03] But there is a sense of what, like, success and failure look like on a mental health journey.
[24:10] And I don't think that it's the same as, you know, of like a project success or failure that you might have at work.
[24:18] But then I would imagine, and this is a question, although there's no question mark yet, but I promise it's a question.
[24:25] I would imagine that in your work with say More, there's also a different sense of what success and failure means. Like, what does it mean to have a successful mental health community?
[24:35] What does that mean, look like, and what does it mean if you fail?
[24:39] You know, what does failure look like? Especially coming from a sense of it's a community. You're not. You're not positioning yourself as the white knight on the horse coming to save everybody.
[24:52] Right. As you should not be. Right. Because that's not healthy, that's codependent. Yeah. So what, what does that look like for you as the founder? To look back, you're like, okay, I was successful.
[25:05] Successful. Say More was successful, or say More, which it won't be, but say More was a failure in this space, which seems so different than how people might measure it in, like a corporate, more black and white sense, a hundred percent.
[25:20] Stephanie Kaiser: I mean, especially coming from the finance world, everything was numbers. I'm a numbers person. So it's really easy to now go into this space and numbers it out. But that's just not how it's going to work now.
[25:32] So I've had a lot of re fixing my brain on that. But I will say with say More, I like to think of it as almost the stern older sister.
[25:41] I want say More to have a space for people to confront their challenges or their issues or circumstances. But I also want there to be accountability within the communities of we're all here to be better, you know, And I think you see that online a little bit with certain communities that already exist because, like, the influencer, whoever sets that tone of, like, we're not going to tolerate this kind of behavior or this or what have you.
[26:05] And I found that and say more like, there's some really, you know, heavy topics. Life is long. But I do want people to have the time to heal and figure it out and process all their emotions around it, but also make the change, do the work.
[26:19] I just don't. And I think a lot of people want to do that. I think there's a lot of perspectives where, yes, it gets better, but that journey of it gets better is long and ugly and there's setbacks and there's.
[26:30] And, you know, great moments as well. But I always want, like, say more to me when it, if. When it's a success is just an organic variety of communities where people are working together to make a change or say, hey, this resource actually did really help me.
[26:46] I know there's a ton of resources out there, but this was particular for my challenge. And if anyone else wants to use it, like, please go for it. I want it to be that shared space, no gatekeeping, and just people saying, okay, okay, that makes sense.
[26:58] Okay, I need to be doing this next then, because that makes the most sense as well. I want people who have experienced their. Whatever it be their challenge or their mental health journey to have other people who know what it's like.
[27:08] But also the solutions, slash, you know, resources are there as well. It's not just a place for us to, like, rage bait or anything. And that's what I. That's a success for me.
[27:17] A failure would be if it becomes like any other place on the Internet where everyone is just super hateful. There's no motivation to do anything about, like, their circumstances or their life.
[27:27] And I just don't. I don't see that happening. Like, I just. There's too many other places like that. If you want that somewhere else, we joke that we're gonna make a sister site called say Less and we're just gonna have a bunch of people go over there and throw away all their, like, garbage in that site and we'll just delete it all after 24 hours or something.
[27:42] But yeah, that's. That's our joke within our team.
[27:45] Aleya Harris: Bad idea. I think that feels very cathartic. And I think say More and say Less is the future.
[27:51] Stephanie Kaiser: Yeah, take what you need, you know, and leave the rest.
[27:54] Aleya Harris: Take what you need. Yeah. Yeah, I love that. And welcome, by the Way to the wonderful, wild world of entrepreneurship where people like to vilify all of the things that will cause them to be not successful, that will cause them to be failures.
[28:11] Oh, it's the economy, the interest rates, it's an election year.
[28:19] The algorithm. Right. Any of the reasons that we can think of, we will make it an external problem. Where my perspective, and I know I'm 100% right on this, is that the only thing that can get in your way is you.
[28:34] Because people have had countless stories over and over and over. The enslaved people, disabled people, right? Men, women, short, fat, all the people that have been able to overcome their circumstance.
[28:48] Now, that doesn't mean that, like, overcoming is easy, but it's for me, the beliefs that you hold in, in your head and the things that you expose yourself to. So, Stephanie, I'm going to ask you to be very vulnerable right now.
[29:02] You ready?
[29:02] Stephanie Kaiser: Yeah.
[29:03] Aleya Harris: Breathe it in. Take a deep breath. What are the limiting beliefs that could get in your way of making say, more successful?
[29:16] Stephanie Kaiser: I am looking at my affirmations on my desk as I speak because they're the exact.
[29:21] Aleya Harris: So it's the opposite of the affirmation.
[29:27] Stephanie Kaiser: So that I'm not capable of doing this work, that this doesn't work out for me. No one cares, no one wants to help out, no one's interested. There's.
[29:39] And you can find that anywhere. Like you just said, everywhere. There's a reason to not do something. And I know my barometer and my North Star this whole time is that if I would use it or whenever I talk to people about same morning, like, oh my God, I would use this for my infertility journey or what have you.
[29:54] It's. I'm like, okay, there's a, there's a space for this, you know, and just because it doesn't exist or your journey doesn't look super straightforward, does not mean it's not needed.
[30:04] Does not mean you won't be successful.
[30:06] And this stuff takes time. Like, if you're not selling your soul or like doing partnerships that don't make sense for you or whatever, then it's going to take longer and that's okay.
[30:14] And I think I've, I want to enjoy this part, you know, I, as much as I can. It's anxiety ridden and all sorts of other things, but I do find that the beginning right now, it's just, it's a little calmer.
[30:25] I'm getting a little like some small wins every day and I'm like, okay, this is going to be nice. And I want to look back at this and say, oh, that was so sweet that I was like, this is my win.
[30:34] And then, like, hopefully in the future, you know, everything is, like, beautiful and perfect and super successful, and there's a million people on say more. But really, I just want people to know in general that you can do this.
[30:45] And because you can, you probably should. You know, if you're that passionate about it and it's close to your heart, then it's. Something's calling you. Whatever you believe in, you got to.
[30:54] You got to at least give it a shot. And I'm someone. I hate living with regret. So I'm just like, I would love to at least put this out there and see what sticks.
[31:01] And you never know what people, the people who are rooting for you. And behind the scenes, like, that's another key part. I'm sure you've met tons of people along your journey who are like, I love what you're doing.
[31:10] How can I be a part of it? You know? And that's also the best surprise of it all. And the power of the Internet, too.
[31:16] Aleya Harris: So, yeah, yeah. Not only do you never know who is rooting for you, but you also don't know how long they've been rooting for you. So my book, Spark the Stage just came out.
[31:28] Go buy it on Amazon, by the way, you and all of my dear listeners out there, if you have that, purchase the Spark the Stage book. I don't know what you're waiting for.
[31:36] I digress.
[31:38] There are people that have been on my email list, and I can look, right? I can go and see when I. When they first sign up. Never heard from them.
[31:44] They've been on for like two years, three years. All of a sudden, they respond, I just bought your book. You're one of my favorite people on the Internet.
[31:51] Stephanie Kaiser: I am.
[31:54] Aleya Harris: And I love you too, by the way. Thanks for buying my book. But, like, we should talk more. Like, so you. You really have have no idea who's out there rooting you on?
[32:06] Or even, like, one of my new, very lovely friends, Jamie. Well, I talked to you before. She's a ghostwriter, before we started recording.
[32:15] See, we met through LinkedIn and we, you know, would post and comment on each other's stuff.
[32:23] Then she's like, I'll pre read your book for you. Oh, I'll leave a review. I'll do this. And now I'm staring at my desk at the beautiful flowers that Joanie sent me for my launch.
[32:34] She's been like, ride or die throughout the launch. She's the only review from her mama's account because she couldn't review on her account on Amazon.
[32:44] The only review I have at this point in time on my book. Like Ride or Die. Never met Jamie in person. Nothing. And I know Jamie's right or die because this is a Jamie appreciation post, by the way.
[32:56] Jamie applied. I'm putting on a speaker, a speaker event where I'm choosing the speakers with my co producers at the end of October, Jamie applied. She's. I love her. She would be a great speaker, but she didn't fit the theme and there were lots of applications in only 10 spots.
[33:09] And so I, with love, rejected Jamie. This was before my launch. Most people would have been like, all right, why I'm doing **** for your book, then forget you.
[33:19] Stephanie Kaiser: Right?
[33:19] Aleya Harris: No. Unchanged, unfazed.
[33:23] Still showed up with her bright light, her beautiful spirit. She understood what was happening, that you're talking about the beauty of the Internet. That's the beauty of the Internet. That's the beauty of entrepreneurship.
[33:34] That's why you can't let your limiting beliefs get in the way, because there's so many people that you are seen and unseen that are rooting for you, that are so supporting you out in the wings.
[33:45] And I want all of that and more for your entrepreneurial journey, because there's enough ****, and if you focus on the ****, you'll get more of it. So let's not.
[33:52] Yeah, so we're going to focus on all of the magic that can happen. And I want you, if you feel so inclined to read some of those mantras. There's that.
[34:00] They're, like, right in front of your face, right? I see your eyes moving.
[34:02] Stephanie Kaiser: Yeah.
[34:03] Aleya Harris: Read some of those. What keeps you. What keeps you going? Tell us. Tell us, Stephanie.
[34:07] Stephanie Kaiser: Okay, so I'm just reading my.
[34:09] Aleya Harris: Okay, read them out.
[34:11] Stephanie Kaiser: Okay. You are more capable than you think you are.
[34:14] Everyone wants to help you and support you. You are so smart and already successful. What if it ends up being really easy? What if this finds all the exact right people and places?
[34:26] Everything works out. You are so lucky. And you've survived far worse. You got this.
[34:33] Aleya Harris: Whoa. That made me feel good. I know the people listening may feel good. And dear listener, if you need a little boost, go back about like, 15 seconds or so. Rewind.
[34:44] Replay.
[34:45] Right. Because those are your beautiful, very beautiful, beautiful mantras, Stephanie. But they are very, very usable for basically everyone. We all are feeling the opposite of all of those things.
[34:57] That's what a mantra usually does. I feel broke. Let me have A mantra that says, I'm rich. Right.
[35:06] So thank you for being vulnerable and sharing that with us. Is there anything else? Any last words of wisdom? Because I was like, I have, like, five other questions I want to ask that I just looked at the time.
[35:16] We got to go. So are there any other words of wisdom that you'd love to share with our audience today?
[35:24] Stephanie Kaiser: I just.
[35:25] I am so excited about the future. I think there's a lot right now, especially in an election year, that feels really terrible. And I talk to so many people about this every day, but my job is literally talking to so many people who are.
[35:40] Who care so much about you and what happens next and keeping people safe and also giving people their rights. And so I just want people to know that there are a million people behind the scenes who are a lot quieter than the terrible people, of course, but they're all working for a better future for us, whether that be mental health, whether that be climate, et cetera.
[36:01] And it just, just. I want people to find hope because I. Another reason why I'm so glad I'm doing this work is I'm meeting incredible people like yourself who care so much about people and, like, want people to feel better and want people to have safe spaces to talk to other people or just feel understood and connected.
[36:19] And it doesn't feel like that right now, but I promise you that it's there. You just. And you have to look a little harder for it. And so whether that Beyonce Moore or somewhere else, wherever you find your people and you feel like, give you that hope, stay there.
[36:31] Stay with those people. You know, maybe sign off of the Facebooks or the Tick Tocks a little bit early and go towards those faces because they're there and there's a lot of people there who are looking exactly like you, saying, I want a better life for us all.
[36:43] And. And I just promise you it's there. So if that gives anyone a little extra oomph today, then, like, I hope that helps because it's feeling bleak. It's pretty bleak sometimes, but we're going to be okay.
[36:54] I just know it.
[36:56] Aleya Harris: I just know it as well. So now if people want to go sign up for say More, they want to connect with you. Where can they do that?
[37:03] Stephanie Kaiser: Yeah. So we're on all social media platforms, wherever you're active, Facebook, Instagram, you know, TikTok, we're say more co C O at the end. Say More Co.com is where you can go on exactly onto the platform and talk to whoever you want, find your Own community.
[37:18] And then I'm on say More, obviously, and on Instagram and I'm Steph Kaiser on Instagram as well. If you just want to connect with me, K A I S E are.
[37:27] So that's where I'm at. And I'm rooting for you. Whatever you're trying to do, make world better place, I'm rooting for you too, just like Aleya is. So, yeah, it's.
[37:35] It's an exciting time. Let's just keep going.
[37:38] Aleya Harris: Ah, well said. Nothing to add. Thank you so much, Stephanie, for joining us here on the Flourishing Entrepreneur podcast. It's been an absolute pleasure having you.
[37:49] Stephanie Kaiser: Thank you for having me. It's great to meet you and I'm again, I'm so excited. I'm gonna buy your book after this. So, yeah, tell everyone to do that Hyatt talk.
[37:56] Aleya Harris: The Stage is now available on Amazon and anywhere you buy books. I'll find retailers everywhere. Thank you. Thank you.
[38:04] All right, Stephanie, talk to you soon. Thank you. Bye.
[38:09] Well, that was an enjoyable and much more gregarious conversation I think most people would expect us to have here about mental health. And I think that that is my Jerry Springer style final thought for you today, is that although we're talking about mental health, you can't focus on the problem only and expect to find the solution.
[38:32] Focus on the joy, focus on the laughter and the people that you can be joyful and laugh with as someone who has suffered and continues to deal with depression, especially triggered by postpartum.
[38:44] But, you know, there've always been little things here and there with me. Right. Anxiety and depression that have knocked me off as someone with that life experience.
[38:54] Joy is where I try to keep my sights. Not using joy to mask the pain, but using joy to transmute it, to realize that the pain is not the entirety of my human experience and that other humans can relate to me, like the humans that hang out on say More.
[39:13] And then other humans are also there to lift me up, to support me, even in unexpected ways and unexpected people. So I'm here to tell you that I love you, I support you.
[39:23] I'm only an email away. You can always email me, like, for real. Like, I really will respond to you. It might take me a second because my inbox be like, right, right.
[39:30] But you can always email aleyah@aleyaharris.com we can have a chat and maybe I can point you in a direction of some resources or maybe I can just give you a listening ear.
[39:41] But mental health should not be something that you feel like you need to go on a solo journey to discover your most healthy mental health state.
[39:51] You have resources and I would love to help you be one of them.
[39:54] All right, well, until next time, my name is Aleya Harris. This is in fact still the Flourishing Entrepreneur Podcast and I'm sending you lots of love, light and abundance. Bye for now.
[40:08] Yuliya Patsay: Thank you for listening to this episode of the Flourishing Entrepreneur Podcast with Aleyah Harris. Vibing with what you hear, leave a five star review to spread the love and be sure to click subscribe.
[40:20] We wish you love, light and abundance. See you next time.
