Breaking Free from Generational Trauma Stories
with Anat Peri
Are you living your life, or are you living a legacy of limitations passed down through generations? In this eye-opening episode of The Flourishing Entrepreneur Podcast, we dive deep into the heart of generational trauma and the uncharted territory of the inner child with the guidance of Anat Peri, a master in the art of emotional healing.
Imagine breaking free from invisible chains that have held you back, rediscovering your authentic self, and forging a path of joy, fulfillment, and purpose. Anat Peri, our beacon of transformation, lays out a roadmap for rewriting the narratives we've inherited and stepping into the light of our true potential.
This isn't just another podcast episode; it's your invitation to a life-altering journey toward healing, self-discovery, and ultimately, liberation from the cycles that have unknowingly shaped your existence.
Join us as we explore how to reclaim your story, heal your inner child, and create a legacy of empowerment and healing for the generations to come.
Key Topics:
- Generational Trauma and Inner Child Healing: Anat Peri explains the concept of generational trauma as the patterns and beliefs inherited from our ancestors, which shape our identity and behaviors. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing these patterns to heal and rewrite our life's script.
- Personal Stories of Transformation: Anat shares her personal journey, including how she faced her fears of never finding love and how acknowledging and processing these fears led her to meet her husband. Her story illustrates the power of facing our deepest fears and the importance of making room for new beginnings.
- Practical Techniques for Healing: Throughout the episode, Anat provides listeners with actionable advice and techniques for healing. She discusses the importance of acknowledging and amplifying emotions to process and move past them, the role of safety strategies in our lives, and how understanding these can improve our relationships and personal growth.
- Moving Forward After Healing: The episode doesn't just focus on healing past traumas; it also addresses how to step into a new chapter of life. Anat emphasizes the importance of integration, education, and stabilization in adopting new beliefs and behaviors to replace those that no longer serve us.
About Anat Peri
Anat Peri the Founder & CEO of Training Camp for the Soul®. She is an Inner-Child Healing Expert in the coaching and wellness space who has devoted her life to empowering those at the forefront of the coaching industry to scale their business, overcome overwhelm, build confidence, and master their craft while attracting their ideal clients. Her approach to healing and personal growth isn’t merely informative - it is a profound experience that curates lasting change.
Anat's background blends traditional healing arts and modern psychology, with somatic and inner-child reparenting techniques that have enabled her to guide hundreds of practitioners, business owners, and their teams, through her TCS Method™. This method creates the kind of change that shapes the future of the world of leadership as we know it.
Connect with Anat Peri
Website: http://www.trainingcampforthesoul.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anat.peri/
About Aleya Harris
Aleya Harris is the spark for your spark™. A trailblazer in purpose-driven story crafting, she is a former marketing executive and ex-Google Vendor Partner who brings her dynamic experience to her role as the CEO of The Evolution Collective Inc. Aleya is a StoryBrand Certified Guide, international award-winning speaker, and the host of the award-winning Flourishing Entrepreneur Podcast. Her unique approach as a Strategic Storytelling Consultant has revolutionized the way businesses communicate, transforming workplace cultures and market positioning. With her dynamic energy and proven methodologies, she guides clients to unlock their potential, articulate their radically authentic stories, and achieve unparalleled success.
Sign Up for a Free Workshop
Each month, Aleya hosts a free 90-minute, hands-on workshop to help you use the power of radically authentic strategic storytelling to improve your personal growth, career, and company.
Register at https://www.aleyaharris.com/workshop
Book Aleya to Speak
To book Aleya to edutain your audience at your next event as a keynote speaker, please visit www.aleyaharris.com/speaking to check out her speaking topics, reels, and why. Click "Schedule a Call" to secure the speaker with "that something new" you've been looking for.
If you are a Corporate Event Planner, Employee Experience Professional, Head of Marketing, Learning & Development Professional, Executive Assistant, Speakers Bureau Destination Management Company, or Destination Management Organization who is looking for a top-quality, energetic speaker, you should definitely hop on a call with Aleya.
Connect with Aleya Harris
Speaking & Media: https://www.aleyaharris.com
The Evolution Collective Inc.: https://www.evolutioncollective.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aleyaharris/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aleyaharris/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thealeyaharris
Links Mentioned on this Podcast
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Aleya Harris [00:00:01]:
It's your mama's fault, isn't it? It could also be your daddy's fault. Or maybe it's your grandmama's fault. Yeah, let's lump them all together. It's all their fault. And today we're going to explain why. I'm speaking with Anat Perry and we cover everything in this episode from generational trauma to healing your inner child. And she gives some amazingly simple yet profound and courage needing techniques for you to heal generational trauma to understand, embrace and heal your inner child and write a story that is actually one that works for you and your life moving forward rather than just being the story that you have written, maybe a little bit by accident. Anat Perry is the founder and CEO of training camp for the soul.
Aleya Harris [00:01:05]:
She is an inner child healing expert in the coaching and wellness space who has devoted her life to empowering those at the forefront of the coaching industry to scale their business, overcome, overwhelm, build confidence, and master their craft while attracting their ideal clients. Her background blends traditional healing arts and modern psychology with somatic, which means the body and inner child reparenting techniques that have enabled her to guide hundreds, hundreds, hundreds of practitioners, business owners and their teams through her TCS method training camp for the soul. This episode is really great because I learned something. So even if you aren't excited about this episode, I'm excited about this episode because it really goes incredibly well with all of the story rewriting I'm trying to do in my life right now. So if you are looking for the next chapter of your story to be different than the chapters that you've been living, then, my friend, this episode is for you. All right, let's go.
Yuliya Patsay [00:02:17]:
Welcome to the flourishing entrepreneur podcast with Aleya Harris. If you're looking for actionable ways to overcome communication and differentiation challenges by sharing radically authentic stories, you are in the right place. Listen in and learn how to stand in the power of your unique narrative to transform your personal life, business and workplace culture. And now, your host, award winning international speaker, strategic storytelling consultant, and japanese whiskey lover, Ruby Coral's mom, Aleya Harris.
Aleya Harris [00:03:06]:
Hello, Ana. Thank you for joining us here on the flourishing entrepreneur podcast. How are you doing today?
Anat Peri [00:03:11]:
Amazing, thank you. Great to be here.
Aleya Harris [00:03:16]:
I love to hear it. I love to hear it. Well, I've already read a little bit about you, but in your own words, in just a couple of sentences, can you tell the people who you are and what you do?
Anat Peri [00:03:26]:
Yeah. So, my name is Anat and I've been coined as an inner child expert. I've been in the self development space for 19 years, coaching for almost nine years, and mentoring coaches and healing professionals, certifying them in my method the past four years. So I have evolved quite a bit and super passionate about ending generational trauma. And for people to really know themselves, like who they really are, for them to really discover and know that it's not who you are, it's what you learned. If you learned it, you could unlearn it and really step into your true, authentic self.
Aleya Harris [00:04:10]:
So I'd like to make sure that everyone is on the same page from the very beginning of the conversations here. And we're saying words or you're saying words. I really haven't said much of anything. You're saying words that I think people throw around a lot and they don't actually know what they mean. But I have the blessing of being in front of an expert today. So I can ask you what these words they do mean from someone who knows what they're talking about. They're words like generational trauma and inner child. Can you explain what that means? Because I think some people are just like, yeah, my mama sucked.
Aleya Harris [00:04:47]:
And I'm like, well, yeah, well, I don't know if that's all what we're talking about. Can you give some more color to that? Because I think that will shape part of this conversation.
Anat Peri [00:04:57]:
Absolutely. And thank you. Because I think that's why I go on podcasts, to give the long form so people really understand what this is, because a lot of times we put it in this box and we're like, oh, I don't have trauma, or, oh, inner child, what is that? And I really want people to learn to embrace this. So I'll start with generational trauma. So everything who you are today is made up of is what you learned. So, by the time you were seven years old, you received this script, and you learned most of it from your caretakers, from mom and dad and society and all that. And siblings had some influence, but mainly you looked at what's possible for you in the world by the time you were that age, and so you looked at them for that model. And all that's happening right now is that you're playing out that same script until you recognize it and give yourself a new way of being, a new script.
Anat Peri [00:05:57]:
And so the generational trauma is this inherited way of being, whether that is divorce or abuse, it's just something that's learned. And you see it from generation to generation because it's the only framework that that person ever had. So this is what they know is possible unless they've had a lot of self development work, a lot of influence of other mentors. But for the most part, we look at our parents, at our family, as the roadmap for what's possible for us. And therefore, we are limited by whatever beliefs they had, whether it's very traumatic, like abuse, divorce, things like that, or it's like, you have to work hard. We come from blue collar. I talked to this girl yesterday. She's like, oh, I've been bootstrapping it my whole life.
Anat Peri [00:06:54]:
I'm from Chicago. I'm blue collar. And it's just like, that's all inherited. That's not who you, you know, trauma. When I define trauma, trauma is any experience that your nervous system didn't have a capacity to process. So sometimes that is something really huge.
Aleya Harris [00:07:13]:
I really love that. Trauma is any experience that your nervous system couldn't process. That's good. I like that. That's good.
Anat Peri [00:07:24]:
Yeah. So it gives us seeing that there's a big range there and that we all have some version of it. Hopefully it's minor, but for a lot of people, it's major, and it's all about retraining.
Aleya Harris [00:07:43]:
When you say generational trauma, are you meaning the generations that I know and can see, like my parents, my grandparents? Are you talking about past life, generational trauma? Are you talking about what's the depth and the scope of this experience?
Anat Peri [00:08:01]:
Yeah. Yes. And if it fits for you, if you believe in past lives like I do, then yeah, absolutely, we could go that far. But I think when I speak about ending generational trauma, I'm thinking about our ancestors and the things that we inherited. My grandmother was the only survivor of the Holocaust. She lost her whole family. And that's my grandmother, that's my mom's mom. And I have sat in ceremonies and grieved to the level that I know my grandmother couldn't grieve because that energy, that victimhood, that lives in me, and for me to clear that energy so that I don't operate in my life as, like, there's a part of me that feels like a victim.
Aleya Harris [00:08:56]:
Wow, that's amazing. When you think about that and you're grieving the grief of your grandmother, which in and of itself, I feel like is a whole nother podcast episode. And we probably are going to get into that later on, but I still want to get the foundational stuff done. Talk about then. How does that relate to the inner child work?
Anat Peri [00:09:18]:
Perfect. I love that. So the way I define inner child is your inner child, first off, is your emotions. Okay, so when you think about, I'm happy, I'm horny, I'm excited, that's that little girl. When you think about, I'm anxious, I'm scared, I'm angry, that's that little girl or little boy, depending on who's listening. And so starting to relate to your emotions as this little part of you, and also your inner child is the one that's holding all the beliefs. It's that younger version of you that was learning everything from mom and dad. And you learned by what you saw, heard, or felt, whether they felt it about themselves or they made you feel that way.
Anat Peri [00:10:05]:
And you either copy, rebel, or create a way to survive the incident. And so when we do inner child work, when I talk about being an inner child expert and doing that healing, it's about, first off, uncovering what beliefs you have or what energy is there, what feeling you're having. And who did you learn this from? Whose energy is this and who modeled it? Is this mom's energy or dad's energy? And their energies are very different. Mom is everything related to self. Dad is everything related to others in the world. And so to start to bring awareness to, like, it's not who you are, it's what you learned. And then where we're holding this energy in our body. So getting the connection between the mind and the body, working cohesively together, like, where am I holding this energy? This is mom's energy.
Anat Peri [00:11:00]:
I learned this from her. Or this is grandmother's energy, and then allowing ourselves to have that experience to validate what we experienced or what they experienced. So, meaning, if what I'm experiencing right now is there's tightness in my chest, it feels really gross, then how much can I allow myself to have that experience right now to be like, oh, my God, with every part of my being? Reason is that when we express somatically with as many of our being, many of our. With as much of our being, meaning not just, like, observing a sensation, but also making emoting the sounds. Like, when you think about when you're around a child, you're a mother, I don't know how old your daughter is, but when she was little, when kids are little, you'll see, they'll be, like, 16.
Aleya Harris [00:12:03]:
She's still little. She's 16 months. She's still little.
Anat Peri [00:12:06]:
Okay, perfect. So they're in their full spectrum of emotions, but they make a lot of sounds and movements and facial expressions with it. Same thing. So that's what I call, like amplifying it. And what that's doing is it's speaking to the nervous system. The nervous system understands sensations. Like, if you cut your finger right now, the sensation will be so strong that you probably won't be able to focus on this call, right? Or you burn your finger right now. And I believe that it's amplified to signal to our nervous system this part needs healing.
Anat Peri [00:12:47]:
So when we learn to reconnect to our inner child, our emotions, and validate and amplify what that child experienced that maybe didn't get to be processed, we're giving the nervous system permission to digest and process that energy. And then it goes from being unfamiliar to familiar. It goes from being something that triggers you and you get stuck with for a long time to easily being processed through. And you think about, I'll give you an example. If you grew up in a household that was chaotic, then chaos is something that you could meet easily, like that, no problem. You may even look to create chaos. But if you're with someone, you're dating someone, and it's easy, and they're calm and they're lovely, and you're like, something's got to be wrong. This doesn't feel right.
Anat Peri [00:13:45]:
It just feels unfamiliar. So the opportunity is to retrain our nervous system to have more capacity for all the different things that life hands you. Because I'm 44, let me tell you, life doesn't stop handing you challenges and opportunities, and all of those bring up emotions in us. So if we learn how to train our nervous system for the different emotions, if we learn how to be that child again, to be that 16 month old again, that can go from crying 1 second to laughing 90 seconds later, then we're really free. We're really creating in our life and not just surviving. I don't want to feel that anymore. So, anyhow, I said a mouthful there, but that is a snippet of what I would say is the context behind inner childbirth.
Aleya Harris [00:14:42]:
Well, I think that you needed to say a mouthful because we're basing this. You're trying to distill decades of experience into a podcast episode. So I think that you said probably the right amount. Then I have a question for you. I want to go back to what you were talking about with your grandmother. Can you walk us through how you were able to release some of that trauma and pain so that it no longer became a part of your story as an ongoing, continuing basis?
Anat Peri [00:15:19]:
Yeah, I mean, I'll be honest. It was in a plant medicine ceremony that it came up. I do believe that I'm a big.
Aleya Harris [00:15:29]:
Fan of plant medicine ceremonies. You're in good.
Anat Peri [00:15:32]:
There's a place for it. And the reason that I believe that, I sat with a group of people, most people can't go that deep or allow themselves. I'm a fan of plant medicine. When you know it as a tool in the healer's tool belt, you are the healer. And to know yourself as a healer, you have to know your inner landscape, and you have to know how to move that energy yourself. Basically, you have to have that connection to your inner child, your emotions. And so, because I already do this without plant medicine, that any emotion sensation that arises in me, I accept it, I be with it. I amplify it so that it could be digested and discharged by my nervous system, I was able to.
Anat Peri [00:16:17]:
In this ceremony, this song came on. That was from the movie Schindler's list, and Schindler's list is about the Holocaust. And as soon as I heard the music, I just recognized the song. And my grandmother showed up for me, and I felt her sadness. I knew that even though every year on the day of the memorial of the Holocaust, she would be sad, it would be tough for her. I knew that there's no way in her lifetime, in the years that after the Holocaust, that she ever fully, fully could grieve the amount of grief there was of losing her whole family. And so what it looked like was me just allowing myself to weep for as long as it needed to be, which felt like probably 30 minutes of just allowing it to be accepted. And what showed up afterwards, how do I know that I cleared that? Because it's not like I walk around like a victim, but how do I know that I cleared that energy is what showed up next in my psychedelic experience was motherhood was the gift of motherhood.
Anat Peri [00:17:35]:
And it's something, my husband and I are starting that process. It was so appropriate to know that as a woman, when you give birth to. When my grandmother gave birth to my mom, my mom already had all her eggs. I was there, too. That energy got passed down to me. And so I saw it as like, oh, now you're ready. You're ready for motherhood. You're not transferring this energy on to your future child.
Aleya Harris [00:18:10]:
So when you were in that vulnerable state or other vulnerable states on your healing journey, was there any point in time where you said, I am going to keep this story to myself. I'm not going to tell this healing journey. I'm not going to talk about this story because, well, for whatever reason. And was there a time in there where you then pushed past and told it anyways?
Anat Peri [00:18:42]:
So I'd say where I've had trouble speaking up is what I hear. And sharing something. Being vulnerable has been more like in my early years of my relationship with my husband, I was definitely someone that played the people pleaser and would rather not rock the boat again. Something that I learned with my dad always working, that I was like, if I want time with dad I have to please him and just make sure that he's happy and everything's great. And when I turned 40 is when I realized how unhappy I was in my relationship. We weren't married yet then and it was really because I was boxing myself in. I wasn't giving myself a chance to speak up and say, here's where I'm not satisfied, here's where I don't feel like my needs are being met. Here's all this.
Anat Peri [00:19:37]:
And it really took, I mean that was two years in and for two years he would say to me, just be yourself, be vulnerable, be yourself, be vulnerable. He could tell that I wasn't fully there, but I never had a model for what vulnerability looked like. I did not have a framework for it. So it took two years for me to feel safe, to cultivate that safety. And mind you, I've been like years in developmental work at that time. So it was like a whole nother layer for me to know that he's not going to leave me, he's here, he's like, just be yourself. I'm not going anywhere. To know and to actually believe that by speaking up you're giving the other person to rise up and give you what you need.
Anat Peri [00:20:28]:
And when I did start speaking up is when things got messier first and then the real work began. And here we are now, happily, happily married and so free to express myself. So I'd say it shows up more in that way. Other than that, I'm a storyteller. I will tell you all my secrets. I'm an open book. Ask me anything.
Aleya Harris [00:20:53]:
You mentioned something just now that I think is very interesting because we talk about healing the inner child and doing the generational healing work. But you said, well, but I didn't have a framework for what it looked like. Because once you remove all the stuff that's holding you back and you've healed a wound, that doesn't mean you know how to move forward, to write that new story, you know, the story you don't want. How do you bridge that gap? Or how have you bridged that gap between the healing of an old story and the opening of a chapter that's for your highest good.
Anat Peri [00:21:29]:
I love this. I love that you brought this up, because in healing, there's five stages, and stage five, which is what I call integration, education and stabilization, is the most important stage. It's also the stage that could take the longest. Like if you've done healing work, especially if what you have cleared out are what I'd call big parts of your identity. If your life is a movie, these are the main characters, and now you're replacing it with another main character. There's a lot of script, there's a lot to learn, there's a lot to integrate. And my mentor, who facilitated deep work for 40 years, said to me, it's about 18 months to fully integrate, to learn that new way. And you think of an actor that, let's say, has always played comedy, and now they want to venture out of that and step into something that is more of like a drama role or something like that.
Anat Peri [00:22:30]:
But they've never played that type of character before. They're not only learning lines, they're literally watching people in history that have played that character to learn their mannerisms, facial expressions, tone of voice, all the things so that they can embody that character. So what does it take when someone's like, okay, I'm stepping into vulnerability, but I have no idea what it looks like. I have no framework. This is where I tell people to. Now you can read the book that is specific to that, or go to an intimacy workshop where you get to practice being open and intimate, or listen to the podcast that's specific to it, or look at your life for who already models this and copy them. We're taught in school, don't copy. I'm telling you, toss that out and copy.
Anat Peri [00:23:24]:
Copy from the best. We get to have mentors that already embody what we want and then interview them, ask them, like, watch them all that, and then get that. It's going to take practice and you're going to fall off the horse. You absolutely will. It's about how quickly can you recognize it, have compassion and patience for yourself and get back on and keep practicing this new way of being until it's stabilized.
Aleya Harris [00:23:54]:
So the work that you're talking about is deep work, it's long work, it's patient work. It's difficult work with great payoff in the end of a happier, healthier human being, thank goodness, hopefully. But that doesn't make it any less challenging. And so anytime we step into a challenging realm, we have the little voice, the angel and the devil on one shoulder. And the devil is always telling us why we can't do it, why it's bad. No, you're going to heal. Girl, you fine. Girl, you fine.
Aleya Harris [00:24:24]:
Right? All of those limiting beliefs keep coming up. What would you say are some of the top limiting beliefs that prevent people from even starting phase one of their healing journey? And what are some of the other ones that pop up along the way to help someone who's listening? I'm not pointing any fingers, but if these sound like you, you might want to point fingers at yourself as a not talk so that they could recognize what they could be doing to prevent their own healing from happening.
Anat Peri [00:25:00]:
Yeah. So it's actually not as much tied to specific limiting beliefs. I mean, that's like a book full right now. It's more tied to your survival strategies. Safety a. There's a great book. I'll give a plug because I'm grateful for Stephen Kessler creating the book. The five personality patterns.
Anat Peri [00:25:23]:
Highly recommend it. It literally probably saved my marriage to understand that my safety strategies are different than my partner's safety strategies. And also it helps me in how I work with my clients and even on discovery calls to recognize. So just to share what these patterns are you have believing pattern and leaving pattern does not mean, oh, yeah, I'm the one that always leaves and walks out of a relationship before they get hurt. Me. No leaving pattern. People that run this pattern, it's that it's too much energy. They're usually people that dissociate from their body that would rather live in their imagination or in some other world.
Anat Peri [00:26:02]:
But it's hard for them to be in their body. It's a safety status that's formed anywhere from in utero to three months old. And it's because a developmental need wasn't met of feeling safe to come into this world. So they don't want to be in this world. In their body, there's emerging pattern which is not getting the need met of nurturance. So you always feel like you're not enough, not enough, not enough. There isn't enough. And so I'm needy, clingy.
Anat Peri [00:26:35]:
This was me until I healed this pattern. By the way, there's gifts in all them, but feeling like you need from others to feel enough. Or the merging compensated pattern, which is I'm only enough when I'm giving to others, like the savior complex. Then there's the enduring pattern which came from out of not getting the developmental need of knowing that you can have your own voice and say no around, like, three years old, when a child starts to want to set their own boundaries, and parents might be very strict and say, no, this is our way or the highway. And so the child learns to just take it and endure because they don't want to lose mom and dad's love. And then there's the aggressive pattern, which is like it's me against the world feeling alone. And then the rigid pattern of, I am my accomplishments, so give me all the right things that I need to do so that I could do this right and win your love. And so we all have a primary one and a secondary one, and we make decision based in that.
Anat Peri [00:27:42]:
And, I mean, I'm so versed in this work that I could see it with people, even when I'm on a sales call with someone of, oh, yeah, they run this pattern. They don't trust me. Yes, that's all it is. They need me to show up with more authority and letting them know, I got you. You're not alone. Oh. Now the aggressive pattern can relax. So it's like everyone's looking for safety when they feel safe enough.
Anat Peri [00:28:04]:
Now, to go back to what you asked, I'd say those that run the enduring pattern, if you're so used to just enduring and being stuck with stuff, it'll take you a very long time before you're ready to act on healing work because you are just so used to enduring it. And I think there's people that run certain patterns, like the merging pattern, that will do every program because they need. It's never enough. It's never enough. The program is not enough. But a lot of times, there's this codependency that gets formed. So, for a coach and I train my coaches on this, when you know someone's pattern, you can help them to heal that and not form this codependent relationship where you are their healer and they're always coming to you forever. Or being with a client who runs the aggressive pattern, let's say, and they're running circles around you.
Anat Peri [00:29:12]:
They're totally hijacking and controlling the call. So it's important to know your patterns so that you can start to know what it is to soothe yourself out of it. It's very valuable in relationships because how it shows up when you're overwhelmed. So, in a fight with a partner, my partner is rigid and then aggressive, so he'll go to being right, trying to create order, judging me, and then if it doesn't work, he'll get really loud I run the merging pattern, the leaving pattern. So in a fight, and granted, this doesn't happen so much anymore because we've healed a lot of this, we feel safer with each other in a fight. The merging pattern wants to come, to come back to love. I just want to come back to, I'm enough, you're enough. Let's merge back together.
Anat Peri [00:30:07]:
Or he starts yelling, and I'm like, it's too much. I'm out of here. And I leave the room. He's like, where are you going? Now, imagine, if you don't know this about each other, how offensive it could be if someone walks out of the room while you're in a fight or if someone starts to yell at you, you're like, why are you yelling at me? I used to say that to him, and he'd say, this is just how I talk. And for him, it is. It is the way he discharges energy. Whereas for me, if I start yelling at him, he'd be like, why are you yelling at me? I don't know. I think I'm copying you right now.
Anat Peri [00:30:45]:
But leaving the room is what I need to do. So it could literally save your marriage or relationship. I know it's saved mine or saved you from a lot of upset and hurt with each other.
Aleya Harris [00:30:58]:
Hey, I think that any of us here are willing and able to accept anything that will help us have better relationships. That's for sure. So, as we are wrapping up this interview, there's been so many great things that you have given us. But one of the things that, when I talk about healing with my clients on the podcast with folks out into the world, is I like to have people understand that they are more than just their healing journey. They are more than just their trauma. There's so much to human beings that is lovely and wonderful. And there's the five types that you mentioned, and there's a generational trauma, and then there's your inner child. But out of all of those stories and many other stories that you could pick, what would you want to be the story that you are remembered for when you're gone?
Anat Peri [00:31:59]:
Got to pick a story when we remembered by.
Aleya Harris [00:32:03]:
Well, part of a story.
Anat Peri [00:32:05]:
Part of a story. So I'll share a story that I feel so many people could relate to, because I think love is something that we all seek. I mean, yes, financial freedom, too, but I think love more than anything healthy love. All that. And two months before I met my husband, I was in Maui for my brother's wedding. He was marrying my best friend. They were having a baby, and I was 37. I was almost 38.
Anat Peri [00:32:39]:
And instead of being excited, I'm in Maui. Like, two of my favorite people are getting married. I was hit with a lot of fear of, is this ever going to happen for me? Have I missed the boat? Am I going to be single forever and never get to have a family? And instead of shoving it under the rug, I allowed myself to fully believe it, because I knew that unconsciously, it's been there for a long time, which is why I was operating in dating the way that I was, because this is a fear that I had since my first love broke up with me. I remember saying to myself, I'm probably never going to get married and never have kids. And I kind of said it and buried it, but unconsciously was operating from it. And so I was like, I got to face this fear right now. And so I fully made it up, made up as much belief about it, pictured myself as an old lady with cats or whatnot, and grieved it, felt it like it was real. So here I am in Maui.
Anat Peri [00:33:53]:
I should be happy hanging out with my family, and I'm like, no, I'm not coming out today, guys. And I was just, like, literally depressed, grieving, feeling it so much so as if it was real. And on the other side of that, again, like I said earlier, my nervous system already processed that it, already experienced it in that moment, because I fully accepted it. I think a lot of times we're afraid to accept the thing that we fear. And when we can map out the vision of it and then imagine that it is happening, we can digest that fear. So I digested that fear. And on the other side of it, I asked myself this, like, where am I? In my own way? Because this hasn't happened yet. I'm not 70 years old.
Anat Peri [00:34:39]:
I'm 37. And I saw that I was dating someone that I knew wasn't my person, just someone fun. And I was like, I'm wasting time, and I'm not giving myself a chance for that 100%. So I came back from Maui three days later, had a conversation with this guy, and said, I want to transition to friendship because I get to have 100% now. And I was sad for a few days. And I remember saying to myself, don't be sad about the 50%. Get excited for the 100%. And I didn't realize how much energy I was holding in that relationship, that when I let him go in a matter of two weeks, I attracted six men into my life.
Anat Peri [00:35:23]:
Like, kept meeting men, whether it was online or offline. And I said to myself, I'm going to filter them through this new belief. Like, I'm casting for someone who's ready for 100%. That is like, I'm the casting director. Come on in. And I didn't waste time. The second I recognized, no, the way this guy's talking or acting, he's not ready for 100%. I was like, next.
Anat Peri [00:35:48]:
Next. And my husband was number six two weeks later, and on our first date, he asked me out on three more dates. As the night progressed, he kept making more and more plans with me. And on our second date, he said, I feel like you're my person. And how did I manifest that so quickly? I believe it's because I truly, truly allowed myself to clear out that fear so that there was really room for it. So you said something about, there's a lot of goodness for us. Life isn't just about the heaviness and the healing work. There is beautiful moments.
Anat Peri [00:36:31]:
There's abundance, there's joy. The sun does shine. It's not always raining. And what I've noticed in my years of working with clients is that a lot of times people can't access the joy and the bliss. Like, they can't allow themselves to really marinate in it, to take that in, to sit in gratitude, to sit in the winds, because they're not fully allowing themselves to accept the parts that they don't like. So your access to the goodness is from the challenges. The dark leads to more light. Joseph Campbell said, bliss is any feeling felt all the way through.
Anat Peri [00:37:17]:
So, yes, we get to live in more of that abundance and satisfaction and ease and joy, as much as we can train ourselves to be with the fears and all that. I'm experiencing this right now, actually, in my life where there's a lot of beautiful potential coming up for me in my business and completely uncertain. Completely uncertain and a lot of challenges. And I'm not on the roller coaster ride of entrepreneurship. I realized I'm actually off the ride and I'm at ease. I'm the calmness. I'm just sitting on the bench watching it, but I'm not being taken for the ride, by it. And I'm able to hold ease and peace even though things could crumble next week.
Anat Peri [00:38:21]:
And I look at abundance now as not just like, how much money comes in, but more like, oh, my God, I have abundance of support. I have abundance of, it's like other ways to be grateful for. I'm able to access the gratitude, the peace and the ease because girl, I have really allowed myself to accept and feel the worst case scenarios.
Aleya Harris [00:38:50]:
That was beautiful. And I would think a master class in excavating and replenishing, excavating the things that are not working for us so that you can replenish it with what is. I really appreciate that. Thank you so much for being here. If people want to get in touch with you, how should they go ahead and do that?
Anat Peri [00:39:11]:
Yeah, so I hang out on instagram. If you follow me there within a day to maximum a week, you'll get a dm from me because I like to get to know the human behind the follower. So please do if you want to connect, I'd love to. And if you're curious about my work, trainingcampforthesoul.com.
Aleya Harris [00:39:33]:
That'S wonderful. Thank you so much, anat, for being here today. I appreciate you.
Anat Peri [00:39:38]:
Yeah, thank you for having me. Thanks listeners.
Aleya Harris [00:39:44]:
On this podcast and in my life, I talk a lot about excavation and replenishment and I just mentioned it a little bit with a knot. But let me tell you, this was one of the best tangible examples that I have heard about what that could look like. We're always talking about visualizing your success, visualizing what you need to do, feeling happy, going through those happy feelings. But when you are sort of 1ft into visualizing something positive and 1ft out of visualizing something positive, you're not doing that attraction work that you think that you're doing. You're actually either doing nothing and maybe canceling yourself out, or you're attracting what you don't want. It's not until you lean in and excavate what it is that's holding you back that you can truly lean into the full expression of what you want to manifest the story that you want to write. And I hope that you were paying good and close attention to Anat's description of how to lean in. Fully embody the thing that you are afraid of.
Aleya Harris [00:40:54]:
Release it. Ask yourself what's holding you back from getting the story you want and going after it. What amazing advice and what amazing guests. What an amazing episode. If you like this episode, I ask that you subscribe and leave a review so more people can become aware of this amazing content. And all of my guests, I would appreciate you. Until next time. My name is Aleya Harris.
Aleya Harris [00:41:20]:
This is the flourishing entrepreneur podcast and I am sending you and your inner child and your mama and them lots of love, light and abundance. Bye for now.
Yuliya Patsay [00:41:32]:
Thank you for listening to this episode of the Flourishing Entrepreneur podcast with Aleya Harris. Vibing with what you hear. Leave a five star review to spread the love and be sure to click subscribe. We wish you love, light and abundance. See you next time.
